As a diversity and inclusion expert and international speaker, I meet all different kinds of people. Many of them are unsure how to start their journey toward becoming more inclusive in their personal lives and as a coworker.
I acknowledge that diversity and inclusion can be difficult topics for people to understand. But diversity itself is not really complicated. Diversity is simply all of the different parts that contribute to the uniqueness of each individual.
Inclusion is a deeper concept and tougher practice. Being inclusive is all about ensuring that differences are perceived without letting those differences reduce any individual’s sense of belonging.
As more research is done on inclusiveness, it is becoming evident that discomfort and intimidation do much more than differing or clashing identities to cause people to shy away from joining the fight for diversity and inclusion. Here are four things everyone can do to overcome discomfort and reduce the degree of intimidation.
Give People Grace
If we’re honest, most of us don’t like being a beginner at anything. We also expect people to be subject matter experts on diversity and inclusion no matter how new the concepts are to them. Both attitudes hamper diversity and inclusion.
Still, we live in the information age. That imposes a level of accountability. People can no longer claim ignorance because they can access any information they lack at any time with a few taps on their phone.
Collective impatience around these issues among members of marginalized groups also makes sense. They are tired of waiting for other people to recognize their experiences as real and valid.
While dominant figures learn how to be inclusive, women, BIPOC (Black, indigenous and people of color), and LGBTQ individuals are left to deal with unequal pay, lack of professional opportunities, limited authority and toxic work cultures. How do we balance the urgent need for change with the fact that people take time to progress through stages of learning?
We must accept that when we fail to consider how others may see learning about diversity and inclusion as uncomfortable, we will also fail to give those individuals the grace to go through the stages of knowledge acquisition and personal growth.
Acknowledge and Minimize the Influence of Unconscious Biases
Everyone has to get rid of the unconscious biases they developed during their upbringing, throughout their personal experiences and via the media they consume. Whether someone belongs to the dominant group or is marginalized, they are all influenced by unstated preferences and preconceptions when they make snap judgments about which people to befriend, hire and promote.
In my work with companies, I ask everyone to reveal their biases anonymously. Granting anonymity allows people to share freely without fearing judgment. The goal is to identify what contributes to causing the problems we are working to solve.
I have seen people write that they believe all straight white men are racist, homophobic bigots. This allows me to point out that the categorical statement is not true.
Other people will disclose that they believe Black men are violent criminal thugs. Obviously, that is false. And despite the reality, many systems contribute to white men believing the world is equal and fair for everyone. Encountering this attitude allows me to discuss inequities. The same systems that privilege white people keep BIPOC in subservient roles.
We have to recognize that people act on ideas and feelings that they unconsciously absorbed from trusted friends and family members, unexamined experiences and what they have viewed on television. We all do this. Consequently, people are unaware that the world is much bigger and more complex than they can ever really perceive. Discussing this enables me to explain how biases are unhelpful to individuals and those around them.
Stop Invalidating Other People’s Experiences
We know very little about other people. Our differences are infinite, and that means that we will never be experts on everyone else. But that does not prevent us from sharing in continuous learning with one another.
I noted earlier that accepting diversity and fostering inclusion require a person to allow themselves to be a beginner—to be uncomfortable and admit that they have much to learn. While it takes an extraordinary level of humility and self-esteem to not feel threatened by difference, we have to find it in ourselves to accept the worth and validity of experiences that do not mirror our own.
Let Go of Judgment and Become Curious
Our lives will be enriched to the degree to which we move past our judgments and look at strangers and colleagues with genuine curiosity to know how they experience the world. When we do this, our life and relationships will suddenly become less intimidating and more interesting.
So, all together, what does it take to get rid of unconscious bias and build an inclusive culture? It takes being brave enough to be uncomfortable. It takes people loving themselves enough to allow themselves to be imperfect beginners. It takes self-compassion and resisting the urge to beat ourselves up when we are imperfect and fall short of the mark. And, last, it takes commitments to stop judging others for what we perceive as imperfections and to meet both ourselves and others with curious, loving compassion.
01 December 2020
Category
HR News Article